I'm so happy to have a new forum to bore people...I mean, express myself. (We don't have one of those thingys where you can type something and have a line through it as if it's crossed out, do we? I can't find it.) Anyway, as the official SportsBastardBoy, as designated by our royal inspiration, you may expect me to occasionally discuss sports. However, since I expect the audience here may not be deeply into sports as I am, I'll try and confine my sports items here to things that seem suited to this blog. If we're lucky I'll talk about other things as well.
Let's start with Jessica Simpson. She is dating a quarterback for the Dallas Cowboys named Tony Romo. They had a little trip to Mexico recently, and this has caused all sorts of consternation with people who like the Dallas Cowboys. This is because when she showed up to watch her boyfriend at a game in December, he was horrible and his team lost. Last year, he was involved with Carrie Underwood. When she showed up at a game last year, he was horrible and his team lost. Concerned that her involvement will cause Dallas to lose their playoff game and ruin their season, even though she's not actually going to be there, Jessica has now been dubbed "Yoko Romo." (I prefer to call her "celebriskank" myself, but that's a term that can apply to so many, many people nowadays.)
All of this makes me very happy since the Dallas Cowboys are, in fact, evil. I'm just sayin.'
Saturday, January 12, 2008
SBB has arrived!
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22 comments:
You think the Dallas Cowboys are evil? Try the Rangers -- they're maliciousness incarnate.
Joe, darling! I adore all sports and sportspeople - even the boring stupid ones who I hate. Now Tony Romo? Is that a real name? It sounds - how do I say this politely - a hack reject from a flop musical. (pausing - thinking) Yes, that's as polite as I'll be about that. (sipping cockail) As for Jessica - she's not just a jinx, sweetie - she's a talented singer and actress - the sort you might find worry about their toppless dancing career in any neighbourhood tavern. (lighting glamorous du Maurier) So are there any nudie pics of Tony Romo? Hmmm? I just ask because I hope there isn't. It would be too, too scandalous.
Getting A Pen Out To Write Down The URL,
LCM
Since I have no interest in sports, I have to take this from an entirely showbiz gossip point of view. Personally, I think both of the relationships are showmances/fauxmances. Carrie Underwood denied that they were ever a couple saying that they both just went to each other's events, etc. Jessica Simpson's career is so far down in the toliet she desperately needs anything that gets her press. Her father even arranged their relationship. More importantly, we might ask, "Why doesn't Mr. Romo have a real girlfriend?" Hmmm.
Tony Romo? Didn't Frank Sinatra play him in a movie?
The Dallas Cowboys are good only insofar as they are the eternal rivals of the Washington Redskins. Everyone needs a Nemesis.
I don't follow sports. On Superbowl Sunday, I generally relegate myself to the kitchen to make trays of tacos while friends and family scream at the television.
Little-known and bizarre fact: in high school, I actually lettered in soccer.
Lesser-known and even more bizarre fact: I had a brief and extraordinarily sordid assignation one evening with Joe Theismann.
Joe, really, can't you think of anything that isn't male and covered in spandex? Then again, why would you?
And why do I smell leather elbow patches? Oh, hello Craig. How's tricks? Speaking of, watch out for Mumsey, dear. I overheard her telling that coatrack over there that she has a thing for you, and if it's the same thing she had for Gregg you'll be on penicillin suppositories for months.
No tricks of late, alas. I'm guessing tweed doesn't hold much allure these days.
Mumsey will have more luck with the coatrack than she'll have with me.
My mistake, that's no coatrack, it's LCM in his new Chandelier Wig®. I wonder how long his extension cord is...
Oh well, I suppose I'd better say hello to Melamine before she's face down on the bar.
Mellie, darling, I heard you say my two favorite words (evil maliciousness) and had to come say hello. How are [eyes flicking down briefly] ... uh ... ~things~?
~Things~ are wonderfully perky, you EOQ. How's the testosterone production these days?
Pumping it out by the barrel now that I got me a milking machine. It's a shame it can't be used for fuel. Talk about a tiger in your tank.
&^#*^YDFU^%#&^08uiad6ayrgf2w(*&io9
Glasses fog up, sweetie?
No, more like my eyes filmed over as in ROSEMARY's BABY.
That would have been a lovely place for a hyperlink, you know. To a pic of Mumsey, perhaps...
I have a pic that I think is of Mumsey, but it is SO very not safe for work. Or human eyes.
Well, darling, Photobucket hates you, but it's just as well. It's probably the shot where Mumsey reenacts her "date" with Fatty Arbuckle. Put me off Champagne for a year.
I see the picture at the link just fine. If you can't see it, I think it's clear that the one Photobucket hates is you, dearie.
Really, Craig? Because when I click on the link it tells me the pic was removed for violating the Photobucket TOS. I'm sure ~you~ are right, though. You always are.
Why Robbie, aren't you just sweet as pie!
As it happens, Mumsey was stuck in my cache, so I was still seeing her. I'm sure the gods were simply having mercy on you.
Apology accepted, sweetcheeks. It's always such a pleasure to talk with you.
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