Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Top 10 Signs Your Country Is Not Going To An Olympic Gold Medal

So anyhoo, darlings, I've been watching more of the Olympics from distant China, sweeties, and I just adore it - all the fabulous new buildings, it's just astounding. On the other hand, Canada has get to win a medal - I mean apart the gold one I was telling friends and co-workers about yesterday which I was awarded for NICENESS - they scoffed, I tore in to them - hilarity ensued.

In keeping with the national tradition though, I thought I'd try a top 10.

Top 10 Signs Your Country Is Not Going To Win A Gold Medal At These Olympics

10. Your best track and field athlete has a wet, hacking cough.
9. The women's gymnastic team are too busy pole dancing for the Russian men's gymnastics team.
8. Your marathon runners keep stopping for smoke breaks.
7. The equestrian team keeps yelling "Hi-ho Silver, Away!"
6. Your "fencing" team is just a bunch of burglars.
5. The men's syncronized diving team consists of one man with a sock puppet - worn in the rudest possible way.
4. The men's beach volley ball team insists on wearing waterwings - "just in case"
3. Your best boxer keeps screaming "He's hitting me!!! Stop him!!!"
2. The head coach keeps offering athletes hits off his joint.
1. They elected Stephen bloody Harper as Prime Minister!!!

Sending Love, Looking Fabulous

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