Saturday, March 29, 2008

When Roller Derby and Knitting Collide

I'm sorry, but this is just damn cool. My friend's daughter Toni Carr, also known as Joan of Dark #5 when she's skating with the Naptown Roller Girls, has just sold her first book, Knockdown Knits: 30 Projects from the Roller Derby Track.

With its rowdy atmosphere, fast-paced jams, and heart-stopping pile-ups, roller derby is the fastest growing sport in the nation. This book will feature 30 hip designs by the Naptown Roller Girls of Indianapolis, who are aggressive skaters and avid knitters. Projects include an on-the-move felted skate bag, Dill and Brownie's beer saver, and an arm sling. Other fun, derby-inspired patterns will appeal to innovative knitters searching for truly unique patterns as well as derby girls and their legions of fans.

Ooh, a customized arm sling and a beer saver -- I know what I'm making my publisher for Hannukah!

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Video Flashback Double Play

The other day I saw a documentary on Logo about the Pet Shop Boys. After it was over I tuned into VH1 Classic and their video for the fabulous "What Have I Done To Deserve This?" (with Dusty Springfield) came on just seconds later! Coincidence? Well, yes...

And here's "Domino Dancing." Someone interviewed on the documentary said that this was the beginning of the end of their record-selling success in the USA because of the video's homoerotic subtext...

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Oh, Floridians?

You might want to consider moving north sometime soon. If nothing else, evacuate Disneyworld. I say this because I love.

A piece of Antarctic ice measuring 220 square miles has collapsed, and an ice shelf about the size of Connecticut is "hanging by a thread" because of global warming, the British Antarctic Survey said today. "We are in for a lot more events like this," one professor said.

Is George Michael this popular?

It seems that George Michael is planning his first tour of the U.S. and Canada in 17 years. He's more famous now for trolling for sex in men's rooms than having hit records, yet not only is he playing arenas (and not as an opening act for an artist that has actually had hits recently), but for one show that's already listed on Ticketmaster the price range is from $50 to $175! Are people really going to pay for this? Am I missing something?

Tasteless Jeopardy!

"I'll take 'Career Going Down The Drain' for $500, Alex."
"For $500, the answer is...'Drillbit Taylor.'"
"What is one of the reasons Owen Wilson tried to kill himself?"

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Sunday's Pretty Picture

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Saturday, March 22, 2008

Saturday's Pretty Picture

While at work yesterday, Dash bonded with Razzle Dazzle.

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Friday, March 21, 2008

Friday's Pretty Picture

Happiness is just a thing called Dash...

Today we adopted our boy. It was love at first sighthound.

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Thursday, March 20, 2008

Update on the gay porn star/burglar twins

One of the two twin brothers who have done gay porn together and are alleged to have committed a string of burglaries via rooftop break-ins has spoken out. Keyontyli Goffney told the Philadephia Daily News that his twin brother Taleon was the mastermind behind the burglaries and that he was merely the lookout. Interestingly, the twins' mother has also been accused of being a lookout, though she has not been charged.

Keyontyli tells how he got into the porn business:

After graduating from Edgewood Regional High School in Winslow Township in 2000, Keyontyli, then 19, said a recruiter approached him at a club in Philadelphia.

When the scout found out he had a twin, the two were flown to Atlanta to talk about a gig, he said.

But once they got there, they found out the "gig" was gay pornography, he said.

"We were laughing. We thought they were promising us modeling but they said that would come next," Keyontyli said. "That's how they pull in a lot of kids these days. We were already there and we thought 'How will we get home?' "

Xavier McDonald of, the Internet site that posted some of their online videos, said that was unlikely.

"We go through sort of a checklist with guys because we're not going to buy a plane ticket and set up a shoot without everyone's understanding," McDonald said.

While Keyontyli is openly gay, he said his brother is straight.

But McDonald classified Taleon as bisexual, noting that he was surprised when he saw an Internet video of Taleon performing as the receptive partner during intercourse with another man.

"The next time we had conversations with him and shot him he sort of said to us he really didn't want his brother to know about that because he thought his brother would try to hook him up with guys," he said.

Both men had a hard time appearing in gay porn films together, and with other men, Keyontyli said.

"We laughed the whole time. They would give us stuff, like Viagra, to keep us hard," he said. "You'd get nervous so we'd drink a bit.

"I kind of felt, well, you didn't feel too good about yourself," he said.

He also believes that police don't have any "solid evidence" against him, and that they have a grudge against his brother due to previous escapes.

If what he says is true, it's kind of sad. Keyontyli got out of the porn business and got some legit modeling work. Apparently a criminal record is more of a deterrent to prospective models than porn.

Not-so-stupid girl?

Girls Gone Wild is holding off on their release of the videos of ex-Gov. Spitzer's hooker. Turns out she may have been 17 when they were filmed. They can't sell DVD's of an underage girl.

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

What's Broadway got to do with Idol?

On tonight's American Idol, which narrowed the field to the top ten, the guest mentors for this season were announced. They are Dolly Parton, Mariah Carey, Neil Diamond and...Andrew Lloyd Webber. Because his music is all over Top 40 radio, obviously.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Stupid girl!

Ashley Alexandra Dupree is the happy hooker in the case of the former governor of New York, Elliot Spitzer. Alas, she's not very bright.

She was offered $1 million to pose nude in the soon-to-debut Girls Gone Wild magazine, a spin-off of the infamous DVD series. She turned them down.

Turns out, back in 2003 she spent a week with a Girls Gone Wild film crew in Miami. They found the old footage, and soon it will be for sale. Needless to say, the company withdrew its million-dollar offer.

I think the lesson for today is, you should never look a gift whore in the mouth. Or something like that. I'm not all that bright myself.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

Saturday & Sunday's Pretty Picture

We had a home visit from the adoption agency yesterday, throwing my whole schedule off. Here's some pretty flowers.

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Friday, March 14, 2008

Ask Uncle Robbie

I AM A 20-YEAR-OLD GAY MALE. I've been out since I was 15, but I don't go around with a "fag flag" nailed to my chest and I'm not attracted to guys who are femme. Most guys who are “straight-acting” are actually straight. I've found guys in their 30s who are gay and “straight-acting,” so why can't I meet someone in his 20s who's the same?
-- Helpless & Hopeless

Dear Helpless,

Remember, not everyone has had the time you’ve had to come to grips with who they really are. Uncle Robbie remembers his 20s as if they were yesterday (no smirking). Fresh out of the closet and looking for direction, your dear Uncle experimented with many different forms of expression, including both “butch” and “femme” behavior before settling down again. Without knowing where you’ve encountered these little flamers, Uncle Robbie can’t make alternative suggestions, but instead of decrying the scarcity of butch 20-somethings, why don’t you consider dating those butch 30-somethings you seem to be surrounded by? It may not be as bad as you think.

=Uncle Robbie

Have a burning sensation? Ask your doctor. Have a burning question? Ask Uncle Robbie.

Friday's Pretty Picture

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Thursday, March 13, 2008

Avenue Q/Fiddler on the Roof Mashup

Muppets, L'Chaim and Goys -- oy vey!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Time to Party!!

Dr. Chuy's brother finally got his driver's license!!

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Square Pegs on DVD!

This is great news! It's been a long time coming. May 20th is the day.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

Another Video Flashback

"Buffalo Stance" by Neneh main reason for sharing this is that Wikipedia has this fun fact(?) about the song:

It inspired a unique "dance" on the television show Dance Party USA; dancers would stand absolutely still for the duration of the song.
Finally, a dance I'm good at!

Pretty Pictures

This weekend's lack of Pretty Pictures is brought to you by inertia (followed by a lot of recovery projects from the flood we had last weekend). To make up for it, here's a lovely pic worth three of the usual crap I post (and perfect for desktop wallpaper).

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Saturday, March 8, 2008

When Mimes Attack!--A Picture Story

The campus of Great Sucking Udders was recently afflicted with an invasion of mimes. Here's the evidence. It's your job to write captions for each photo, in sequence, that tie this story together in the most fabulous possible way. If we could poll on this thing, I'd let you all vote on a winner, but I guess I'll have to leave that honor to my own glittery self. Have at it.

Friday, March 7, 2008

American Idol Lap Dance Music

TMZ reported on their TV show that these are the songs that contestant David Hernandez stripped to at Dick's Cabaret in Phoenix:

Sexyback-Justin Timberlake
Boogie Wonderland-Earth, Wind and Fire
Shake That-Eminem feat. Nate Dogg
Never Too Much-Luther Vandross
Pictures of You-The Cure
Temperature-Sean Paul
About Us-Brooke Hogan feat. Paul Wall
The Distance-Cake
Love Rollercoaster-Red Hot Chili Peppers
Smooth Criminal-Alien Ant Farm
Iris-The Goo Goo Dolls
Sweetness-Jimmy Eat World
I'm In Luv (Wit A Stripper)-T-Pain

That last one seems like a natural, doesn't it?

David Archuleta's laugh

Does he really sound like this?

Someone seems to think so...

What's wrong with this paragraph?

From Entertainment Weekly's website:

American Idol contestant David Hernandez has finally broken his silence on press reports that he performed nude, reportedly for a "mostly male" clientele, at a Phoenix, Arizona, strip club called Dick's Cabaret. "You know, honestly, I'm here to sing," Hernandez told at the Idol Top 12 party in West Hollywood on March 6. The singer appeared cool-headed and relaxed, despite the controversy. "I think America's judging us all off of our voices right now. Obviously they were, because I'm still in the Top 12, thank God. So I'm not really concerned with what's going on [with those reports]. I'm just focused on singing, because that's what I'm here to do."

All he said was, "I'm here to sing." Duh! Who didn't know that? How is this "breaking the silence" on his lap dancing career? Is journalism just getting increasingly shoddy with each passing day?

Thursday, March 6, 2008

The gayest songs of Australia

Okay, it's a list from an Australian website of the 50 gayest songs of all time -- which explains the two Kylie Minogue songs that I don't think I've ever heard in the top 10. Here's the top 20 songs that Aussies voted as the gayest:

20. Dolly Parton, "9 to 5"
19. Coming Out Crew, "Free, Gay and Happy"
18. Village People, "In the Navy"
17. Frankie Goes To Hollywood, "Relax"
16. Village People, "Macho Man"
15. Judy Garland, "Over The Rainbow"
14. Bronski Beat, "Smalltown Boy"
13. Diana Ross, "I'€™m Coming Out"
12. Cher, "Believe"
11. Gloria Gaynor, "I Am What I Am"
10. Alicia Bridges, "I Love The Nightlife"
9. Madonna, "Vogue"
8. Olivia Netwon-John "Xanadu"
7. Kylie Minogue, "Better The Devil You Know"
6. Pet Shop Boys, "Go West"
5. Kylie Minogue, "Your Disco Needs You"
4. The Weathergirls, "It'€™s Raining Men"
3. Gloria Gaynor, "I Will Survive"
2. Village People, "YMCA"
1. ABBA, "Dancing Queen"

Monday, March 3, 2008

Today's Philadelphia Queer News Update

Actually there are two updates, since I didn't get to post the first one last week when it was reported. There were a series of recent burglaries in which the perpetrators would cut holes through the rooftops to gain entry. Among the businesses robbed was a Wawa convenience store (a regional chain that's MUCH better than 7-Eleven), in which cash, cigarettes and condoms were taken. The condom theft almost make sense in light of the news that the two men arrested last week in connection with some of the burglaries are twin brothers -- and have done some work in gay porn:

The Goffney twins are also the focus of numerous hardcore Internet gay-porn videos - some of which they star in together under the stage names Keyon and Teyon, according to several Internet sites that write about modeling and gay culture.

In "Marc and the Twins," which was distributed only online, the Goffneys are hanging out on the Las Vegas strip when they offer to audition for "Marc," a chiseled black porn star who happens to pass by.

The three take the "audition" to a seedy hotel room. Although "Marc" is the focus of the encounter, the twins can be seen rubbing each other's chests and getting cozy.

"Marc and the Twins" seems to be the most popular of the online porn films that star Taleon and Keyontyli. Their co-star in the film, Marc Williams, is a fairly big name in gay porn, according to Erik Schut, editorial director of Philadelphia-based TLA Entertainment Group.

The company's Web site,, is the nation's largest retailer of gay porn DVDs. To Schut's knowledge, the twins have not appeared in any porn films available on DVD, but he said if they had chosen to further their career in porn, "They could have been huge."

Meanwhile, apparently Diana Ross isn't the only woman to have once fondled Lil' Kim's breast. A local radio DJ who is known on the air as Golden Girl wrote a book called "Sex & Celebrities: The Truth, the Whole Truth, the Naked Truth," which includes her tale of a steamy encounter with Lil' Kim. The rapper spent a few months in a federal prison here; could it have been a conjugal visit? We don't know for sure as we have no video, but because we love you, here's Miss Ross' boob-bobbling moment at the MTV awards.

Sunday, March 2, 2008

Sunday's Pretty Picture

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Larry Craig wants you!

Haven't you always wanted to be an intern for a closeted homophobic politician who enjoys bathroom sex? David Letterman ran Craig's advertisement...

Saturday, March 1, 2008

Saturday's Pretty Picture

From The New Yorker:
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Because you asked for it...

These are "after" pictures. ;-) Click on the image for the full version. And that last photo of the back of my shirt is just to show off the special message for New York Mets fans. Bwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

The Joker endorses Hillary!

This is not a headline from The Onion! This is NOT an imaginary story!