Saturday, January 12, 2008

The Big Red One is here

(strolls through the door, wiping off her épée and slinging it into the elephant foot umbrella holder)

Ah, that's better. Oh, lovely, LCM and Patrick are already here! Boys, order me a mojito while I go wash off some of this alien ichor, will you?

(disappears into the bathroom marked "Femme -- and we mean the ones with a hoo-hoo")

(reappears wearing a stylish set of olive-green battle armor)

Goes with my hair, don't you know. Hello, darlings -- already started on the Boli and Stoli, I see. I need to catch up -- bartender, another five mojitos here, s'il vous plait, and don't stint on the mint.

Now, while we're waiting for the others, tell me all about what's going on in your lives. You know me -- I'll be rambling on about science fiction, the art of writing and how craft stores took over my life, with the occasional segue into Lewis Carroll and bellydancing, because I'm just that kind of a girl!

Yes, LCM, I really am a girl. If I can get this plastron open, I'll even show you.

Oh, dear. I didn't think he'd run screaming into the Gentlemen Who Know Their Colors. Oh, well -- his drink is getting warm, might as well finish it for him. Meanwhile, sweetknees, tell me all about dinner theater in mid-central Illinois!


LCM said...

LCM: (back from the washroom) I'm back, darling - I just had to powder my ass. (staring at drink being drunk) Excuse me, darling - I believe that was mine. (taking it back. (glaring at the lipstick on it). Oh no - cheap makeup always makes me clumsy. (pausing, then flinging it at her, then turning to Pat) Sweetie - you'll need to order a round - Melanie's blouse and hairdo has absorbed all my drink. (glaring at Melanie) You should wear one of those nice plastic rain bonnets, darling - all the ladies your age are mad about them.

Glaring, But Not Storming Off

Melanie said...

Of course my blouse and hairdo absorbed the drink -- because it's not a blouse and hairdo, it's mimetic carbon fiber battle armor. In any case, it's all wicked into a storage pod so that I can finish it later.

No, I'm not going to tell you where the pod is. But it certainly keeps me tingly.

Uncle Robbie said...

Dear lord, you've been widgetized!

Melanie said...

And I enjoyed it!

Uncle Robbie said...

Send my congrats to the Bodacious Brit, won't you? He seems to have his fingers in all sorts of pies...

Melanie said...

He's quite fond of my cherry cobbler.

Uncle Robbie said...