Tuesday, January 29, 2008

LCM Gets A Library Card!


I'm just this minute sitting down with a smart cocktail and a glamorous du Maurier and I'm just adither with excitement, sweeties - I got a library card today! (sips drink) Oh but let me start at the beginning, darlings - it's a tremendous story, I assure you...

(four hours later)

...and that's when I had to admit that enriched uranium is NOT an appriopriate baby shower gift. (nodding knowingly) Oh, and I got three books at the library, sweeties:

1. Some book about Saturday Night Live - not many pictures though
2. Some book about "the secrets behind" the Academy Awards - no pictures at all
3. Some book about the comings and goings in Berlin in April 1945 - again, no pictures

That third book was just one I grabbed in annoyance as I stormed to the counter - someone kept following me amidst the aisles and I just wanted to pelt something large at them - but then I decided I'd better not - not on my first day with a library card. (patting wig)

Oh but things are different now a days, darling - everything's so high tech - you feel like you're on the Star Trek, sweeties - they beep and blip everything ten times and then you get a receipt! You do! I stared at it and said "Do I have to save this?" And she said no, it was just a reminder that I have three weeks to return the books. So I put it in one of the books and threw it away on my way to the car.

Oh but the crowd there, darlings - I don't know - they weren't very photogenic. Even someone working in oils would have a time of it with that lot. Everybody was sort of bohemian looking - and I mean that in the worst possible way. (exhaling from du Maurier with meaning) So now I know how Cindy Crawford must have felt that time she decided to be a no-nonsense lesbian.

So anyhoo, I'm still annoyed at that stalker - I felt entirely rushed and hassled. But I took a pamphlet that lets me look through their books from home - I mean, which books they have - so then I can order some for next time and I won't even have to go beyond the front desk. Now all I have to do is read the books I got! I may post my reviews when I do, darlings - you know how I'm good that way.

Patting Wig, Sipping Smart Cocktail

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